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Self Love and Accountability

What is Your Definition of Self Love?


The inner self is the core of our complete earthly existence. If we are not whole, if we are not healed, if we are not awakened to our true being then who are we. Most of us carry the burdens of past traumas and generational curses; Other people’s ideas and opinions of who we are and who we are supposed to be. These practices in themselves are the cause of most of our lifetime’s deterioration and for some the death of us. Have you ever taken the time to ask yourself why you are who you are? What is at the root of your best character traits and what is at the inner workings of your worst character flaws?


Self Love is not just about pampering and catering to yourself, lt is also about dealing with all of the ugliness that life has instilled within us, the things that we have welcomed or allowed, and those things that were given to us from others that we kept and are still holding onto. We cannot say that we Love ourselves if we are only vocalizing our Love and not utilizing our actions to back that Love up. We have to be able to look at our lives, ourselves and take an account of what parts of our own destruction we are responsible for, while also being able to give things back to the people or events, circumstances that gave us loads that they created for us.


Self Loathing

Self Destruction

Self Hate

Self Ridicule

Self Pitying

Self Victimizing


All of these are different forms of how we treat ourselves on a regular basis, but most of the time we are so unaware of ourselves that we don’t realize that this is the baggage that we are carrying. It is not to say that these things we carry are of our own fault or even ours to carry, however in order to take control of our persons, these are the hidden and sometimes not so hidden places that we need to address. We have to be able to dive into the depths of our most vulnerable selves, lean into, and pull out those deeply seeded things that rot us from the inside out.


When you think about Self-Love what is the first thing that comes to mind? How easy or difficult is it to look in the mirror and say I LOVE YOU to yourself? How many people have you chased down or tried to give your Love to in your lifetime, in comparison to the amount of times you have chased down yourself?


Love cannot just be practiced in theory. Saying, “I Love You” to ourselves is not enough. It is a start, but it has to be followed up by the work. Self Love requires releasing all of the things that no longer belong to us. It is giving things back to the people who have harmed us or caused us pain, it is in taking accountability for ourselves and our daily habits or practices that put us in dangerous or risky situations, it is in placing our full selves on display with ourselves and addressing everything that is not able to come with us where we are going. Self Love is a result of killing off every leech that is attached to our person, whether it be in our hearts, our spirits, or our minds. We have so much more control than we give ourselves credit for, but in order to take back our control, we must stop placing so much of our identity and our development in the hands of others. WE can no longer afford to allow others to dictate who or how we should be. Take a minute everyday and take thorough account of yourself and ask yourself who is staring back at you. Is the person that you are looking at a result of your own creation, or are you a result of someone else’s hands, ideas, or ideals? Are you looking at yourself or are you looking at who someone told you to be, who someone told you that you are?


When we speak of Self-Love we have to be able to say without a shadow of a doubt that I am who I need to be for myself and be able to be unapologetic as well as accountable for the version of ourselves that we are.


Take an account of your person today and ask yourself, “What are some ways that I can be better to myself on the inside, while being better to myself on the outside. What am I carrying around and who does it really belong to?" Then ask yourself if it is a necessity to your entire being and if it is not give it back to whom it belongs. Forgive the people who have wronged you even if they are not able to give you the apology that you deserve. Resurrect yourself from the grave and allow yourself to Live and

be free. Give yourself permission to Love and fall in Love with yourself before you give yourself to another. This is your life, our lives, and we owe it to ourselves to take full control over who and what we are. Be Transcendent and let go of the anchors that have been keeping you at Bay.



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